My name is Alisa and I am a Transgender woman living in New York. I am originally from the mid-West in the USA, but left my home city when I was 22. I had to escape the small-town mentality and prejudices about anyone who is different. It was the same for some of my gay friends, both men and women. They simply had to get away to live their lives the way they wanted, or needed to.
New York is clearly a magnet for anyone who dares to be different. Or for people such as Trans women who are different from the mainstream not by choice but owing to their sexuality or gender.
It’s a great city to live in, so diverse. So many ethnicities, and plenty of Transgender women. Indeed, it is a veritable melting pot of Trans women. There are Transsexual women from South and Central America, and I have friends from Colombia, Brazil, Mexico, Philippines, and even Cuba. Then there are the Trans-women from Russia (yes!), Germany and Poland, as well as Iran and some of the Balkan countries.
Most of the transgenders I know in New York have several things in common, apart from being Trans that is. Firstly, almost all of the Transgender women escaped from their own country or home city to look for a better life.
This is especially true of the Central and South American girls who not only had to get away from economic hardship but also serious intolerance and prejudices. Many of the issues they had to face have the same causes. That is, either by politicians and civil servants mismanaging the home economies or the Catholic church controlling the populations with their dogma. The Church encouraging high birth rates to help keep people poor and controllable but also preaching discrimination and non-acceptance of minorities such as Trans women.
The above scenario is not dissimilar for my Transsexual friends from countries such as Poland, Croatia and The Czech Republic. In such places, religious zealousness, inept governments and intolerance mean that it’s hard to live well if you are Transgender woman. Russia has serious problems of intolerance but religion plays a lesser part.
For me, as I said at the beginning, I am de facto refugee in from my home city in the US!
The second thing all of us Transsexual women have in common is that we all aspire, one day or another, to have full gender confirmation surgery (“GCS”). Many of my American friends have already had all or some of the required surgeries. That is, they have either had breast implants or so-called “bottom surgery”. My Trans friends in the US from other countries are mainly first-generation immigrants so cash is tight and most of them do not yet have well-paying jobs. However, many of them undertake high risk back-street cosmetic surgery procedures to help feminise themselves. Or, even worse, some of them self-medicate on hormones or inject all sorts of fillers into their noses or lips to save the cost of a professional doing it.
The third thing almost all Transgender women I know have in common?
Can you guess?
Quite simple really. We all are looking for a nice sincere man to date. Someone to love and cherish and take care of us just like he’d take care of any woman. Despite what you may think, New York is not a great place to meet men. Maybe it’s something to do with the fast pace of life or the transient nature of the city, I don’t know.
Sure, our little group of Transgender women do go out to bars and clubs for a good time, all hoping to meet a potential partner. But most of us spend our time using a specialized transgender dating site such as idatetranssexual. Such a site only caters for Transgender women, their admirers and men who want to get to meet them. When we use this site, we know for certain that men on the site are looking for T-girls and have some basic understanding of what we are all about. I hate misunderstandings which happen in some clubs where a nice guy starts talking to you, thinking you are a genetic girl. When either he works out you are not or you tell him you are Trans that often ends the conversation. Some men get angry and abusive.
It’s great that this can’t happen with sites such as iDate Transsexual as you sit in the comfort of your own home and scroll through the profiles of all of the men on the site. Then leisurely make a short list of who you’d like to chat with. Of course, there is no pressure to meet until you have got to know the guy better and feel a meet is likely to be worthwhile.
Have a look at the site and see if you can spot me—and my other Transgender friends. It’s free to join and only takes a few minutes before you can start reviewing the numerous profiles of men looking to date Trans-women.
What are you waiting for?