I guess you could say that joining IDate Transsexual was my end-game! The final phase of my Transgender journey looking for a man to love and cherish me. And the end of a journey which started when I was still pre-teens.
Of course, I never knew that I was a future Trans woman when I was 9 or 10. I just knew that I loved dressing up as a girl. As you can imagine, I was doing this in secret and dared not tell anyone about my feelings or needs to present as female.
Luckily, we lived in a big house and, with my parents both away at work all day, I often had hours to spend by myself. As I’d never heard about T-girls or Transgender issues, I didn’t even try to look up more details on the internet. I just knew that, whenever I thought I had the chance and enough time, I’d find an article or two of female clothing to wear.
Later in life, I read more about the stories of other Trans women and found out that we all roughly follow the same pattern. When I had first started dressing, I would only wear a bra and panties. This progressed and soon I was wearing a petticoat or slip as well. I really loved stockings but usually, I could only find tights. The feeling of the nylon was magical and, when wearing tights, I thought I felt as a woman might feel.
Over time I would usually wear a favorite dress or top and skirt which I liked as well. I still had no idea why I was doing this. Sometimes, though, I had wondered why I liked playing with the girls more than with the boys. Or why I liked girly things, magazines, and colors more often associated with females. If you had told me I was Transgender I would have asked you what it was—and then probably denied it.
By the time I was 15-16 I was very adept at doing make-up and knew how to accessorize using watches, necklaces and earrings (clip-on at that time) etc so as to help me fully present as female.
I have a small face and, even though I only had collar-length hair, I could style it in such a way that I was very, very presentable as female. I learned how to pad my bra more effectively so that my breasts looked more natural. No more rolled up socks! I also found that wearing a tight-fitting panty girdle would enhance my lower body shape. Firstly, by suppressing any bulge my penis might make in the front of my skirt or dress. Secondly, I could slip some foam padding down the sides of the girdle to give a better hip shape.
The only thing I now needed to do was go out. I needed to see if my appearance was sufficiently feminine to enable me to go out and about undetected as a male presenting as a female. It was about this time that I first heard the words Transgender and Trans woman.
In many ways, the definitions of such words seemed to fit me. Yet I hadn’t at that time realized that the only way forward for me was to transition to living full-time as a woman. I know that I was at my happiest when dressing and appearing as a female. Conversely, I was at my unhappiest if I had a prolonged spell when I could not wear a dress or female clothes. I was really depressed.
Yet, even though I knew what being Transgender was all about, it honestly never really clicked with me at first. I actually thought I was gay. I knew I preferred men and had a few sexual experiences during my early teens with other boys and young men. As pleasurable as they were, I was not overly enamored. However, when I was about 17, I had sex with a sort-of-friend when I was dressed as a woman. It was like the great revelation. The thrill of a male making love to me and treating me as a woman was almost overwhelming. I can still remember the experiences of that afternoon all these years later.
In many ways, this sexual experience was the catalyst for the awakening I had that I was a Trans woman. Nothing more, nothing less. And almost from that day on, I took steps to realize my true gender identity. I told my family and began living full time as a Transgender woman. Almost six years later and my transition journey is complete. In fact, it was completed just over three months ago but I waited until my vagina was fully healed until I joined IDate Transsexual.
Now all I need to do is to find the right man for me: a T-girl with a lot to offer!