In response to many requests we have been receiving we asked three female members of IDateTranssexual to join a Q&A session. We wanted to ask some of the questions which our male members keep asking us about Transgender women. What better way to answer than to let some of the T-girls from our site answer the questions directly?
Please welcome Tanya, a 23 year old Trans woman from United States, just outside New York City. The we have Margarita who is 26 and from The Philippines but currently lives in the UK; and Chelsea who is just 18 and is from the west coast of the USA, just south of Los Angeles.
The interview of the T-girls was by Lee Bowden (LB) on behalf of IDateTranssexual; read on and enjoy:
LB: Welcome ladies. Can I start with you Tanya? Why do so many Trans women join a Transgender dating site to find a man?
Tanya: Well, surprisingly, for T-girls like us, it’s not that easy to find a man through conventional dating channels. Firstly, it’s hard to find the right place to go to meet men. You can’t just turn up in a bar or restaurant and hope you’ll find a nice man there. Then, you need to be sure that the man who starts talking to you knows you are Trans and a not a genetic girl.
Margarita: ….sorry to interrupt, but that’s such a good point. It actually can be quite dangerous for a T-girl, especially if she is out by herself. Some men take great offence if they start talking to you but don’t know you are Trans…., and then they find out. Some of my friends have been assaulted as the man thinks you are trying to “trap” him. He may also feel embarrassed in front of his friends.
Tanya: Yes, I agree with Margarita. But dating sites also give us the opportunity to get to know the men who are talking to us before we meet each other. You know, we can talk about likes and dislikes, what we do in our spare time, hobbies etc. I think it’s better we build up some sort of relationship, albeit from behind a computer keyboard, first.
LB: I see. I guess you also can meet men from all over the world on IDateTranssexual and not be confined to someone from your local area. Chelsea, what are the most typical questions men ask when they first contact you?
Chelsea (laughs): I think we all know the answer to that (she looks at Tanya and Margarita). The others probably get the same questions as me. You can almost guarantee that within the first two or three exchanges or messages the man will ask about the status of our transition.
Margarita: You’re so right!
Chelsea: The men know we are T-girls but I think they forget we are just like other women emotionally and, to a large extent, physically. But that is what they want to know about.
Tanya: Actually, I can understand men asking and being curious, but I think it’s good etiquette to wait until we’ve been talking a week or so. Don’t you? After all, would they ask a genetic woman what’s in her panties or in what position does she like to have sex before they have met her?
LB: What sort of questions do you get asked?
Chelsea: For me it’s always: do you still have a penis? Or: are your breasts your own or do you have implants?
Margarita: Same sort of questions for me, but I usually get asked am I “top” or “bottom” in terms of the sex-role I adopt. I have some men who ask me more intimate details about what I will and will not do in bed, but let’s not talk about that here!
Tanya: If I say I am pre-transition, I get asked: does your cock still work? Maybe even how big it is. Or have the hormones made it redundant?
LB: I’m a little surprised that men are so forward or direct.
Chelsea: Oh.., it’s not all men and I have met some man nice, genuine men on dating sites. Men who understand and can appreciate a Transgender woman and all we can offer. If I had to put a number on the ones who ask too quickly, it’s less than 5%.
Tanya: In fact, IDateTranssexual seems to attract a higher quality clientele than certain other sites. The men somehow seem more knowledgeable about T-girls and are looking for a long-term relationship rather than a quick (paid) sex liaison.
Margarita: Yes, I agree with that. It’s just about the best online Trans girl dating site there is. After all, I met my current boyfriend Ted on it. He’s from Bristol and we’ve been together just on two years.
LB (turning to Tanya and Chelsea): What about you two, have any success?
Tanya: Yes, indeed. I had over 30 replies from men in the first month after I joined. I have already met three of them and am just seeing how it goes.
Chelsea: I have made a couple of very good friends but have held off dating as I have my gender confirmation surgery on 15th. Not long now!
LB: Good luck to all of you and thanks for being here today!