It’s hard to believe it’s almost a year since I first met Ammy on IDateTranssexual.
He told me he had been thinking about joining a T-girl dating site for some time but lacked the courage. Not that he was scared of Trans women, it was just that he’d never met a Transgender woman before. He wasn’t sure about the protocols or how to react or behave when he started chatting with a T-girl.
My name is Geraldina and I am a 27 year old Transgender from The United States. I actually come from New York but have been living openly as Transgender in Los Angeles for the past six years. Ammy is from Belgium and is very sweet and loving man. He is an engineer working on some of the big rail projects in the capital. The government have instigated several new schemes to try and make it easier for people to move around Manila. As many people know, the city seems to be forever clogged up with traffic.
I grew up in a typically conservative, religious family. Both they and I thought I was simply gay, as I have always been attracted to men. My father wanted me to see the local priest to
help “cure” me. However, I knew enough about being gay (or not hetero) to know that there is no cure. No matter which letter you identify with under the LGBT banner, you cannot change how you feel. Your gender identity, as is your sexuality, is irrevocable.
Later, when I was about 15, I realized I was Transgender, but almost by accident. I had been reading a popular book when I came across a character called Faye who the author described as an 18 year old transgender. This was a minor character in the book but still quite important to the plot. I recall the author describing the struggles the character had with being Trans. Wondering why they had this overpowering need to dress and present as a female but not sure why. Not quite understanding that there can be more than two genders. Or that gender, indeed, is a spectrum between male on one side and female on the other. With plenty of variations in-between.
Faye flip-flopped between living as a male and living as a female whilst her internal struggles and debate with her family continued. She thought she might be “gender fluid”, that is able to present a male or female according to how she felt. But, finally, the realization of being a Trans woman hit when she fell in love with a young man.
This still very much reminds me of my own realization about being a Transgender woman and not a gay man. Once I knew who I was gender wise, I always keen to find a man like Ammy who could love me for what I am: a woman who happens to be Trans.
In fact, a particular passage in the book always reminds me the relationship between Ammy and I. After we met on IDateTranssexual we took time to get to know each other. Then we met for dinner or went to the cinema or bowling or some other fun things which couples who are dating like to do.
Gradually, we realized we were going to be more than good friends. We realized that our relationship had some substance and it would continue to develop. In the book, Faye described a similar situation with her young man called Jeffy. To set the scene: Faye and Jeffy had been seeing each other for about six weeks. It was all “top secret” as they couldn’t let either sets of parents know they had been meeting. Jeffy’s family also didn’t understand Trans women. Faye had, by now, taking female hormone to feminise herself. She had also persuaded one of her friends to store her female clothes and let her dress as often as she wished at the friend’s apartment.
So, here is the passage in the book; in Faye’s words:
Jeffy’s parents had gone away for the weekend. We’d been out shopping and went back to his house late afternoon to freshen up, planning to go out for dinner. I’d taken extra special care that day with my make-up and getting my hair right. I wore a pale blue summer dress with a patterned white cardigan. I knew I looked good, and could tell Jeffy thought so too.
As I stood up to go and change, Jeffy caught my hand. “Faye,” he murmured, as he pulled me towards him.
I sighed as “butterflies” danced across my stomach and I could feel a thrill of anticipation pass through my upper thighs. Jeffy wrapped his arms around me and kissed me hard on the lips.
“You look wonderful,” he whispered. “So,sexy.”
I kissed him back and we embraced, standing almost motionless for a few moments. I exhaled deeply, feeling my bra strap pull taut across my back and the nipples on my small breasts stand erect. I could also feel Jeffy’s stiff cock against me, and I almost passed out with anticipation.
He maneuvered me towards the bedroom, and I unzipped my dress as we sat down on the big bed. My excitement was growing with each second as I started to undo Jeffy’s shirt. I remember thinking: This is going to be an afternoon that I will always remember….
Little did I know that, years later, I would be just like Faye, making love and in love with a man from Belgium I’d met on IDateTranssexual. Sort of life imitating art!
But, more importantly, making love for the first time with Ammy was my moment of realization that I was simply a woman.